'Posmo' / Laura Miano [Interview]
Sex toy concept store and pleasure project Posmo creates toys that celebrate unique expressions of human sexuality. Inspired by Queer Theory, Posmo seeks a deeper understanding of people’s sexual preferences - revealing their debut range of toys that carry a strong emphasis on inclusivity, accessibility and aesthetics. We speak to co-founder Laura Miano about the philosophy behind Posmo, sexual empowerment, and the exciting new range of toys.
In 1980, Adrienne Rich coined the term “compulsory heterosexuality,” which is the idea that “heterosexuality is presumed as a ‘sexual preference’ of ‘most women,’ either implicitly or explicitly,” and societal pressures compel women to “choose heterosexual coupling and marriage,” irrespective of their innate desires and sexual orientation. Mass media and lack of sufficient sex education often play a big part in fuelling this culture and creating expectations surrounding sexuality and pleasure that ultimately lead to dissatisfaction and disempowerment. In a paper titled “Compulsory Heterosexuality: The Core of Sex Toy Industry” Adora Grant states that “In contemporary society, this [heteronormativity] impacts heterosexual women who believe that their own pleasure during sex is unimportant, women and queer couples who have trouble pleasuring themselves because of phallocentric views of pleasure, and queer couples who try to fit heteronormative standards, resulting in constant disappointment.” Heteronormativity exists not only in the collective minds of people but it is also ingrained in the structures of our political, legal, economic, healthcare, educational and religious institutions.
For a lot of people, this culture of heteronormativity and unnecessary focus on sexual orientation has been embedded in us since our early sexual experiences. Challenging this culture and the way we categorise sexual orientation is Queer Theory, sociological theory that argues against the use of sexual orientation system due to its inherently hierarchical nature and failure to capture the person’s idiosyncratic sense of sexuality.
Applying the key elements of Queer Theory is new sex-toy concept store and pleasure project Posmo. Co-founded by sexologist Laura Miano, Posmo seeks a deeper understanding of people’s sexual preferences, ensuring they are wholly recognised and celebrated, whilst creating toys that carry a strong emphasis on inclusivity, accessibility and aesthetics. I had the greatest pleasure of speaking to Laura about Posmo, sexual empowerment, inclusivity and toys.
Hey Laura! How’s it going? Where are you writing from at the moment? Thanks for chatting with Verve today.
Hey Jazz, thanks for having me! I’m well - writing to you from home in Collingwood today.
I’ve been following your Instagram for a while now and I’ve really been enjoying the conversations and topics you discuss revolving around sex, self care and relationships. A lot of information we receive about sex is quite heteronormative, so it is very refreshing to see your content encouraging diversity and inclusivity. What in particular draws your interest towards sexology and sexual empowerment?
So happy to hear! Taking an inclusive approach to my work is super duper important to me. Diversity is what makes our existence so special, I would never want to overlook it.
There were a few things that drew me towards sexology. I was always super interested in it. When I hit puberty, I was amazed by all the changes in my body and the onset of sexual feelings, I felt like I had turned into a superhuman. In my early teens, I sought out a lot of material that had sexual themes like erotic movies and hip hop/rap music. It was all super inspiring to me. Especially hearing Lil Kim’s iconic Eat My Pussy Right track. As a young woman growing up in a culture rife with femme sexual shame, this song empowered me to never feel ashamed for pursuing my own pleasure. It totally shaped how I related to my own sexuality. I was always the friend raving about masturbation and always up for a chat to discuss the finer details.
On top of that, I’ve always been a huge science nerd - I would watch science docos almost 3 times a week throughout my late teens. Psychology and astronomy were my favourites. So when I realised I could merge my interest in science with my interest in sex, it was a huge ‘ohhhh shit!’ moment.
This week you will be launching Posmo - a sex toy concept store inspired by Queer Theory. Can you tell us a little bit about the philosophy behind Posmo?
Of course! After my partner, who I’ve co-founded Posmo with, planted the seed of starting a sex toy store, I pretty much took that idea and my mind ran a million miles an hour with it. At the time, I was studying my sexology masters and was obsessing over a sociological theory called queer theory. I chose to write most of my assignments on queer theory and spent hours outside of my studies just reading more about the theory - imagine me, already exhausted by the course workload, but up at 2am deep into another academic paper on QT. That was the vibe!
Queer Theory discusses the flaws in using a sexual orientation system to categorise and understand people’s sexuality. They believe it’s flawed for a few reasons - people feel pressured to stay ‘true’ to their label and might limit their sexual experiences solely to stay in line with it; people are stereotyped based on their label i.e. if someone is flamboyant, people might assume they identify as gay or if someone identifies as straight people might assume they don’t like pegging; people are placed into a hierarchy on a sociocultural and institutional level i.e. heterosexual people generally experience more privilege than those under the LGBTIQA+ umbrella. There’s also the notion that if you identify as one label then that’s your label for life. The truth is our sexual preferences can change all the time! These labels have come about during modernist times, when science required people to be categorically represented in order for us to understand and research human nature. However the outcome has led to disadvantage and oppression.
One great paper I read that demonstrated the impact of labelling sexual orientations explained that in early Egyptian times men would often have sex with men and it was completely accepted. Once the western conceptualisation of ‘sexual orientation’ reached Egypt, these practices were criminalised and demonised. All because people applied a label to it and that label had broader political and social repercussions. Without the label, it was just a bunch of people having fun.
Today, unless the whole world got rid of sexual orientations at the same time, it’s impossible to adopt a queer theoretical perspective completely because it’s so intertwined in our culture. If I did it but our institutions didn’t, it would still be present and then I would be completely invalidating people’s disadvantage.
So in today’s day and age, sexual orientations are here to stay. And we know there’s so much positivity that comes from this - it’s affirming and creates a sense of pride, solidarity and community.
Therefore, at Posmo we aren’t ignoring anyone’s sexual orientation. Quite the contrary, we love, accept and celebrate everyone’s expression of sexuality. What we are doing is saying ‘Okay you’re queer/gay/fluid/lesbian/straight/bi etc., that’s sick, now tell us more about what you like sexually as an individual living your subjective life’.
What inspired you to start your own small business? What do you feel is lacking in the current market of sex toys?
Starting a small business was really a collaborative effort between Liam and I. For some backstory, Liam and I are best friends, lovers and now business partners. Liam’s launched a few small businesses before and we had been discussing ways I could take my work as a sexologist into my own business. At the time I was being gifted a lot of sex toys as a sex columnist so we had a light bulb moment - to start our own sex toy store!
I’m a full blown sexology geek so Liam and I work super well as a team. Having such a complementary skill set we were kind of shook that we had everything we needed to set up our own sex toy business. It was really exciting :’)
Like I mentioned earlier, once the seed was planted I ran absolutely wild with it! Helping people improve their sex lives was something I was doing on an individual level, through sex therapy, but launching Posmo mean’t I could extend that to the community. Technically I was already doing that on my Instagram so I knew I loved it. And, creating a sex toy store meant I could choose the toys I wanted and present it in a way that was aesthetically unique, something massively lacking in sex toy retailers today.
What’s lacking in the sex toy industry today is a few things - a lack of inclusivity, a lack of creative consideration and a lack of approachability. Although in saying this, at Posmo we don’t want to completely tear down our predecessors. They paved the way and had the guts to create something that was (and still is) incredibly stigmatised.
We actually really want to be a platform that sits between the super sexualised sex toy industry of the late 1900’s and the modern femme sexual wellness movement unfolding today. We want to sit somewhere in between these two.
If you’ve seen our campaign images, there’s no denying it’s super sexual - we don’t try to sugar coat or water it down to make it more digestible. We are cognisant that the normalisation of sex toys happening today is also accompanied by censoring the ‘sexual’ parts and replacing it with the good old marketing that thrives in other industries. There is so much good that comes from this i.e. making sex toys far more accessible, however we really want to stay connected to our roots and the keep sexiness there, while adding in an inclusive approach and more creative aesthetic.
I know you are still yet to launch the online store, but… can you give us a sneak peak into what we can expect? Do you have a favourite toy?
Yes! We’ll be launching with at least 80 products featuring pleasure toys like clitoral stimulators, penis masturbators, anal toys, dildos, and nipple clamps. We’ll have sexual health products like vaginal dilators and pelvic floor massagers to help people with sexual health conditions. We’ll also have a small selection of art exploring sexual themes. Our aim is really acknowledge the many different ways we can approach sex - through pleasure, health and art.
I definitely have a few favourites. The Vibepad is an absolute stand out product as it offers an option for people who prefer to grind while they masturbate rather than control a toy with their hand. The We-Vibe Chorus is also a great toy that feels incredible and frees up your hands so you can stimulate other areas of your own or another’s body. The Arc Wave Ion is also a great penis toy that uses air suction technology to create a sucking sensation on the frenulum of the penis, totally revolutionary! Then there’s the beautiful glass toys which offer a harder stimulation than silicone toys and are perfect for g-spot stimulation or to produce vulva ejaculations i.e. squirting. Not to mention they double up as beautiful art objects that you can place around your home. These would be some of my favourites for the moment but our product selection will be continually updating!
What excites you about the future of sexology? Is there anything you would like to see more of in this field?
More research! There’s still so much more we don’t know about human sexuality and I can’t wait for the field to develop, for more discoveries to be made and for our understanding of sexuality to progress. We only recently learnt that the clitoris is actually a much larger structure than what we see on the vulva. It really excites me when I think about what we will learn in the future!
Although it’s very much on its way, I’d love to see the field of sexology normalised and free of stigma. Many of my client’s feel embarrassed about coming to see me and I would love if a trip to your sex therapist was as normal as a trip to your doctor. Sexual health (i.e. your capacity to have a sexually fulfilling life) is as important as your mental health, physical health and spiritual health.
Lastly, what makes you feel empowered?
What makes me feel empowered is connecting to what brings me pleasure in life like sitting in the sun and daydreaming, eating nice food, having great connected sex, styling a good outfit and looking after my health. On top of this, being challenged and growing is also a big one for me. I’ve done a lot of crazy things in my life and it’s not a coincidence. Being challenged and coming out on the other side (which I always do!) is central to my sense of empowerment.
Posmo will be launching on December 8. Stay up to date with Posmo on their Instagram and website.
Words by Jasmine Rose @rasminejose
Directors: Phebe Schmidt and Gianna Mazzeo (@phebeschmick @i.am.gianna.thelabel)
Photographer: Phebe Schmidt (@phebeschmick)
Prod design: Brodie Kokkinos (@acrylic_honey)
Colour: Sam King McCarthy (@s.k.McCarthy)
Talent: Ann Deng (@_justann) Tatjana Melchiorre (@tats_amore_)